If home is where the heart is,
Then I have many homes.
I long for my eternal home
Wrapped up in Jesus' Arms
Enjoying His great bounty
Where love and praise abounds.
Isaiah eleven, six through nine,
Paradise restored.
Glorious future free from sin,
Rejoicing in the Lord. ~
I love my home in Kosovo
Where God will build His Church.
He has put a call
Deep in our hearts,
A desire we can't deny
To live and work with people there
And overcome each trial.
Among the towns and villages,
We live and work and teach,
And share the news of Jesus,
The Gospel message preached. ~
I love my hometown
-always home-
the place I grew
And played
As a child and with my own kids,
A home I'd never trade.
I miss and love my family there
And all my dear sweet friends.
It's a place I always can return
until the visit ends. ~
Erseka is a kind of home
with welcoming arms wide,
They've housed and loved and cared for us
Through good and harder times.
The place Hasan and I first met
We often will return
To learn a little more again
And sometimes teach in turn. ~
Yes, we've been blessed with many homes,
It's wonderful and hard,
To have so many that we love,
All spread out wide and far. ~
Monday, November 25, 2013
Saturday, November 02, 2013
My Sheep Hear My Voice
"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand. I and the Father are one.” ~John 10:27-30
The horizon is a hazy turquoise blending higher into deeper and deeper blues, colors so vivid they make my eyes hurt. The mountains behind us are smokey gray and an unseasonably warm breeze ruffles the brown curls bobbing up an down in front of me as my daughter jumps excitedly at the fence. A herd of sheep is grazing behind the school. Shaddowy figures in the dusk, moving placidly between tufts of waving grass and piles of wood.
We call to them. We snap our fingers and click our tongues. They are within feet of us, yet not a single one so much as glances in our direction. They are very focused on their grazing, the sweet grass they have been led to.
All of a sudden we hear a strange noise. "Brrr! Brrr!" A tiny woman pops up over the hillside. "Brrr! Brrr! Hajde!" She is the shepherdess. Immediately woolly heads snap to attention, bells jangle as the flock bleat and maa and begin to trot merrily after her. "Hajde!" She calls them to come,
"Hajde Lako! Hajde Kiki!" She calls them by name.
I realize that I have never actually seen a shepherd calling to their sheep before. New images connect themselves to verses which begin to flood my mind, verses I had always known, but never really had a picture of.
The flock head over the hill and we share a wave. I consider it no accident to have witnessed this little scene only two days before the women's Bible study in which we are going through the "I Am" statements of Jesus. This weeks lesson? "I am the the good shepherd."
The horizon is a hazy turquoise blending higher into deeper and deeper blues, colors so vivid they make my eyes hurt. The mountains behind us are smokey gray and an unseasonably warm breeze ruffles the brown curls bobbing up an down in front of me as my daughter jumps excitedly at the fence. A herd of sheep is grazing behind the school. Shaddowy figures in the dusk, moving placidly between tufts of waving grass and piles of wood.
We call to them. We snap our fingers and click our tongues. They are within feet of us, yet not a single one so much as glances in our direction. They are very focused on their grazing, the sweet grass they have been led to.
All of a sudden we hear a strange noise. "Brrr! Brrr!" A tiny woman pops up over the hillside. "Brrr! Brrr! Hajde!" She is the shepherdess. Immediately woolly heads snap to attention, bells jangle as the flock bleat and maa and begin to trot merrily after her. "Hajde!" She calls them to come,
"Hajde Lako! Hajde Kiki!" She calls them by name.
I realize that I have never actually seen a shepherd calling to their sheep before. New images connect themselves to verses which begin to flood my mind, verses I had always known, but never really had a picture of.
The flock head over the hill and we share a wave. I consider it no accident to have witnessed this little scene only two days before the women's Bible study in which we are going through the "I Am" statements of Jesus. This weeks lesson? "I am the the good shepherd."
Monday, September 30, 2013
Psalm 112
1 Praise the Lord.
Blessed are those who fear the Lord,
who find great delight in his commands.
2 Their children will be mighty in the land;
the generation of the upright will be blessed.
3 Wealth and riches are in their houses,
and their righteousness endures forever.
4 Even in darkness light dawns for the upright,
for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous.
5 Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely,
who conduct their affairs with justice.
6 Surely the righteous will never be shaken;
they will be remembered forever.
7 They will have no fear of bad news;
their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
8 Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear;
in the end they will look in triumph on their foes.
9 They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor,
their righteousness endures forever;
their horn will be lifted high in honor.
10 The wicked will see and be vexed,
they will gnash their teeth and waste away;
the longings of the wicked will come to nothing.
Cling to the cross
Blessed are those who fear the Lord,
who find great delight in his commands.
2 Their children will be mighty in the land;
the generation of the upright will be blessed.
3 Wealth and riches are in their houses,
and their righteousness endures forever.
4 Even in darkness light dawns for the upright,
for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous.
5 Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely,
who conduct their affairs with justice.
6 Surely the righteous will never be shaken;
they will be remembered forever.
7 They will have no fear of bad news;
their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
8 Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear;
in the end they will look in triumph on their foes.
9 They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor,
their righteousness endures forever;
their horn will be lifted high in honor.
10 The wicked will see and be vexed,
they will gnash their teeth and waste away;
the longings of the wicked will come to nothing.
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Falling in His Arms
Some days are soul-sucking days. Sometimes I feel so defeated, so deflated. Sometimes the drudgeries of daily life and the trials this nomadic, temporary, earthly life bring weigh me down so much.
Sometimes I feel like the Bearer of All Burdens.
Like that guy in the movie The Green Mile, who takes everyone's pain into himself. He heals them, but at a terrible cost to himself.
For me there are the kids, and the husband, and friends, and HEY, I've got problems too you know! I am the sounding wall, I am a comforter, supporter, boo-boo fixer, ouchie kisser, referee, listening ear...
The funny thing is though... It's not really my job to be the Bearer of All Burdens. Um, that's actually God's job.
1 Peter 5:7 tells us to "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
You'd think I'd be relieved, right, to pass all that onto Him, to cast my cares at his feet and melt into his glorious Rest? So why is it I sometimes find myself hoarding my problems and everyone else's like some greedy pack rat? To my own destruction, until it is all toppling over and crushing me underneath?
My two year old daughter is quite a character. I usually say I love the "terrific twos" because seriously it is one of my favorite ages. Two year olds are just so darn funny! And cute. And silly. But often... They're also really angsty. They get frustrated so easily. They want to do BIG things all by themselves and sometimes they just can't! They need help but they DON"T WANT IT! They have BIG feelings and huge thoughts but they can't seem to express them and this makes them sooooo MAD!!!
I'm always there for my baby/not-so-baby girl. But sometimes she just doesn't want my help. If it's something she really can't do or really can't express she might get upset. Really upset. And if she's been hurt in some way it's the same story.
"Come here, come let me hold you, come cry on my shoulder. Let me rock you, sing to you, snuggle you. Here I am."
Sometimes she doesn't want my comfort. She'll let me know in no uncertain terms.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Maybe she struggles, maybe she pushes me away, maybe she lays down on the floor and sobs.
I don't understand why. But I am here. My arms are ready and waiting. My voice is soft and it coaxes her.
Finally she will collapse on my lap, pressing her tear-stained face to my chest. Then we'll laugh because, Hey! She's wiping her tears all over me! She might dissolve into giggles then, or need more time to sit quietly hugging me until she feels better. She is so relieved, and it was so easy! So why did she not come to me earlier? I don't know.
Or maybe I do.
I think sometimes our burdens are a crown, a kind of idol that we have a hard time giving up, even though we are promised rest when we do. We are greedy, like Golem, desperately holding onto the things that would be our destruction.
"No, it's mine! All mine!... My Precious"
Instead we must give them up, free our hands to cling to the one who would wipe our tears away and envelope us into his loving rest. It's... It's a humbling thing. But like little toddlers we must fall into his embrace and let him handle all of our cares as he comforts us.
Will you join me today in casting your burdens on Him? In opening up your hands... And letting go?
Let us climb into our Abba's lap and enjoy Him this day.
Psalm 55:22 "Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken."
Sometimes I feel like the Bearer of All Burdens.
Like that guy in the movie The Green Mile, who takes everyone's pain into himself. He heals them, but at a terrible cost to himself.
For me there are the kids, and the husband, and friends, and HEY, I've got problems too you know! I am the sounding wall, I am a comforter, supporter, boo-boo fixer, ouchie kisser, referee, listening ear...
The funny thing is though... It's not really my job to be the Bearer of All Burdens. Um, that's actually God's job.
1 Peter 5:7 tells us to "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
You'd think I'd be relieved, right, to pass all that onto Him, to cast my cares at his feet and melt into his glorious Rest? So why is it I sometimes find myself hoarding my problems and everyone else's like some greedy pack rat? To my own destruction, until it is all toppling over and crushing me underneath?
My two year old daughter is quite a character. I usually say I love the "terrific twos" because seriously it is one of my favorite ages. Two year olds are just so darn funny! And cute. And silly. But often... They're also really angsty. They get frustrated so easily. They want to do BIG things all by themselves and sometimes they just can't! They need help but they DON"T WANT IT! They have BIG feelings and huge thoughts but they can't seem to express them and this makes them sooooo MAD!!!
I'm always there for my baby/not-so-baby girl. But sometimes she just doesn't want my help. If it's something she really can't do or really can't express she might get upset. Really upset. And if she's been hurt in some way it's the same story.
"Come here, come let me hold you, come cry on my shoulder. Let me rock you, sing to you, snuggle you. Here I am."
Sometimes she doesn't want my comfort. She'll let me know in no uncertain terms.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Maybe she struggles, maybe she pushes me away, maybe she lays down on the floor and sobs.
I don't understand why. But I am here. My arms are ready and waiting. My voice is soft and it coaxes her.
Finally she will collapse on my lap, pressing her tear-stained face to my chest. Then we'll laugh because, Hey! She's wiping her tears all over me! She might dissolve into giggles then, or need more time to sit quietly hugging me until she feels better. She is so relieved, and it was so easy! So why did she not come to me earlier? I don't know.
Or maybe I do.
I think sometimes our burdens are a crown, a kind of idol that we have a hard time giving up, even though we are promised rest when we do. We are greedy, like Golem, desperately holding onto the things that would be our destruction.
"No, it's mine! All mine!... My Precious"
Instead we must give them up, free our hands to cling to the one who would wipe our tears away and envelope us into his loving rest. It's... It's a humbling thing. But like little toddlers we must fall into his embrace and let him handle all of our cares as he comforts us.
Will you join me today in casting your burdens on Him? In opening up your hands... And letting go?
Let us climb into our Abba's lap and enjoy Him this day.
Psalm 55:22 "Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken."
Friday, August 16, 2013
The Gentle Man
So careful.
So tender.
I have never seen a father like him.
I see him at the pool fairly often. He brings his children to play on hot days, as we do. Few homes here have the luxury of air conditioning and summer can be down right sweltering. The pool is a cheap and enjoyable respite. The man is getting on in years, with salt-and-pepper hair and a lean build, unusually tall for the Balkans. His face and hands are worn with time and care and plenty of hard work, I imagine. He has several kids with him, ranging in age I would guess from early teen to toddler.
How patient he is with them.
It is clear that he is deaf, he never says a word and communicates with his children using a rough sign language I imagine is all his own. They use it with him as well, simple gestures, mostly. I am fascinated by the way he interacts with them. He is so careful with each one, making sure each has everything he or she needs. He pats and hugs them often, something I see little of here, as physical affection is not so freely given. He checks in with them often, and always has his eyes on them. The way those eyes look at them, I can tell his children are his pride and joy. His love for them is radiant and makes my throat swell as I watch them.
One of the older girls teases her little brother, maybe age three, who cries. The father walks over, shaking his finger. The girl shrugs sheepishly and holds her fingers apart as if to say "It was only a little bit." After comforting the boy he takes his daughter's face in his hands... And pats it softly. He looks deep into her eyes, expression full of unspoken words. Words of love, encouragement, a gentle chide. "You can do better, I know you can, my dear one, please do not do that again." I am left with that impression as he pats their heads and they go back to laughing in the water.
I pondered this family and the quiet, gentle man who leads it as we bump home over dusty roads, children's Sunday school songs blaring.
Why is this man so different? I wondered. I thought about his disability. He is unable to hear. Unable to hear society scream about the "right way" to do things, perhaps he relies more on instinct. Possible too, I mused, that as a deaf child he would have been treated much gentler when he himself was young, It is a norm here to treat children with disabilities differently -with more understanding and gentleness. Perhaps he grew up with that kind of treatment and naturally it flows from him now, easier than having to train oneself to be compassionate and respectful when it was not the way you were treated. Maybe the fact that he cannot hear has left him with an enhanced appreciation for life and the joys in it and it is this which gives him pause to treat his children with such special care. Of course, this is mostly speculation on my part. But what I really wonder is if this man's "disability" isn't really one at all, if it isn't in fact quite the opposite, that something about it gives this father an upper hand -an upper hand in loving.
What I've come away with is a picture of God's fatherly love for us. The Bible says he is "slow to anger" and that true love -to be received and also demonstrated by us to everyone in our lives- is full of patience, gentleness, selflessness, kindness, sacrifice. (1 Corinthians 13)
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
And I think from now on whenever I think of God my Father, the image will flash into my mind of this tender father cradling his daughter's face in his hands.
So tender.
I have never seen a father like him.
I see him at the pool fairly often. He brings his children to play on hot days, as we do. Few homes here have the luxury of air conditioning and summer can be down right sweltering. The pool is a cheap and enjoyable respite. The man is getting on in years, with salt-and-pepper hair and a lean build, unusually tall for the Balkans. His face and hands are worn with time and care and plenty of hard work, I imagine. He has several kids with him, ranging in age I would guess from early teen to toddler.
How patient he is with them.
It is clear that he is deaf, he never says a word and communicates with his children using a rough sign language I imagine is all his own. They use it with him as well, simple gestures, mostly. I am fascinated by the way he interacts with them. He is so careful with each one, making sure each has everything he or she needs. He pats and hugs them often, something I see little of here, as physical affection is not so freely given. He checks in with them often, and always has his eyes on them. The way those eyes look at them, I can tell his children are his pride and joy. His love for them is radiant and makes my throat swell as I watch them.
One of the older girls teases her little brother, maybe age three, who cries. The father walks over, shaking his finger. The girl shrugs sheepishly and holds her fingers apart as if to say "It was only a little bit." After comforting the boy he takes his daughter's face in his hands... And pats it softly. He looks deep into her eyes, expression full of unspoken words. Words of love, encouragement, a gentle chide. "You can do better, I know you can, my dear one, please do not do that again." I am left with that impression as he pats their heads and they go back to laughing in the water.
I pondered this family and the quiet, gentle man who leads it as we bump home over dusty roads, children's Sunday school songs blaring.
Why is this man so different? I wondered. I thought about his disability. He is unable to hear. Unable to hear society scream about the "right way" to do things, perhaps he relies more on instinct. Possible too, I mused, that as a deaf child he would have been treated much gentler when he himself was young, It is a norm here to treat children with disabilities differently -with more understanding and gentleness. Perhaps he grew up with that kind of treatment and naturally it flows from him now, easier than having to train oneself to be compassionate and respectful when it was not the way you were treated. Maybe the fact that he cannot hear has left him with an enhanced appreciation for life and the joys in it and it is this which gives him pause to treat his children with such special care. Of course, this is mostly speculation on my part. But what I really wonder is if this man's "disability" isn't really one at all, if it isn't in fact quite the opposite, that something about it gives this father an upper hand -an upper hand in loving.
What I've come away with is a picture of God's fatherly love for us. The Bible says he is "slow to anger" and that true love -to be received and also demonstrated by us to everyone in our lives- is full of patience, gentleness, selflessness, kindness, sacrifice. (1 Corinthians 13)
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
And I think from now on whenever I think of God my Father, the image will flash into my mind of this tender father cradling his daughter's face in his hands.
Friday, March 22, 2013
Girl's Meeting
Over the past few months, each Saturday afternoon, some of the women in the Church have been meeting for a Bible Study. This has been a wonderful time and I always feel so refreshed after fellowship, prayer, and studying God's Word with my sisters in the Church. It has been a very sweet time.
Very recently we have decided to move the study to Friday afternoons, because it will mean that more of the girls will be able to come. Until now, most of the meetings have been attended by young women who identify as believers and regularly attend Sunday worship and other Church meetings here. However, this girl's study has taken on a new and exciting dynamic. One young girl, a local high school student who is connected with the Church here, has begun to bring her school friends to this Bible Study and all seem interested to learn more. These girls are not believers and have little to no knowledge of Christianity and the Gospel. It is VERY exciting that they have begun to come and to show an interest in what we are all about. We have just today begun to go through the gospel of Mark with them, carefully explaining the story as it unfolds and the saving message it holds. Over the next weeks and months we hope and pray that these young girls' hearts will be open to the message that we will continue to share with them. Please join us in prayer over these girls, that we can know how to minister to them, that they will continue to come. Most of all that God will be working in them, opening their hearts to His Word, pray that they will be sensitive to his call.
I believe that each one of these girls is very special to the Father and I believe that amazing things are going to happen with this ministry! Thank you for your prayers!
Blessings,
Jacquelyn
Very recently we have decided to move the study to Friday afternoons, because it will mean that more of the girls will be able to come. Until now, most of the meetings have been attended by young women who identify as believers and regularly attend Sunday worship and other Church meetings here. However, this girl's study has taken on a new and exciting dynamic. One young girl, a local high school student who is connected with the Church here, has begun to bring her school friends to this Bible Study and all seem interested to learn more. These girls are not believers and have little to no knowledge of Christianity and the Gospel. It is VERY exciting that they have begun to come and to show an interest in what we are all about. We have just today begun to go through the gospel of Mark with them, carefully explaining the story as it unfolds and the saving message it holds. Over the next weeks and months we hope and pray that these young girls' hearts will be open to the message that we will continue to share with them. Please join us in prayer over these girls, that we can know how to minister to them, that they will continue to come. Most of all that God will be working in them, opening their hearts to His Word, pray that they will be sensitive to his call.
I believe that each one of these girls is very special to the Father and I believe that amazing things are going to happen with this ministry! Thank you for your prayers!
Blessings,
Jacquelyn
Thursday, January 03, 2013
Things Missionaries Might Need or Want
I thought it might be a good idea to compile a list of things that missionaries need, want and miss that can be sent in care packages since this is a question I am frequently asked. It is soooo comforting to get a package in the mail filled with useful things and things that remind you of home and it is always encouraging to know that the folks back home have you in their thoughts and prayers. Of course for different families serving in different parts of the world, needs are going to differ a little. However, I hope this list serves as a springboard for ideas of what to send in care packages to missionaries that you may be wanting to bless in this way.
Prayer. Ok, prayer doesn't exactly come in a box, but a care package is a good reminder and encouragement as I said before, that there are people praying for and wanting to bless you. Bonus, prayer never gets lost in the mail!
Food items:
Reeses peanut butter cups. People, the Reeses situation over here is dire.
Spice mix packets. It is often difficult to find many spices -here, particularly Asian and Mexican food spices- and having those little spice packet mixes on hand is so, well, handy.
Sea salt and/or coarsely ground sea salt
Ranch dip mix packets and other dip mixes.
Hot chocolate/apple cider mixes
Instant oatmeal packets
Pop tarts
Fishy crackers, cheeze-its, party mix and the like. The kids miss those and there is nothing even close here(-in fact, I can't even get cheddar cheese here to try and make my own!)
Boxed macaroni and other boxed pasta/rice sides. We cook mostly from scratch and have been eating probably a lot healthier here, but sometimes ya just miss good ol' Kraft or Aunt Annie's Macaroni.
Cake mix, frosting, other cookie/brownie type mixes.
Chocolate chips for baking
Fruit snacks
Cream of wheat
Food coloring
Coconut oil
Garlic salt
Hot sauce (we don't particularly care for hot sauce, but you can't get it here, so find out if this is something your missionary friend wants!)
Candy canes, robin's eggs, candy corn, other seasonal candy at the appropriate times
Chai tea
Other:
Pictures of you, of your families. We miss your beautiful faces!
Notes letting us know what is going on in your lives and how we can pray for you.
Crayola crayons, colored pencils, chalk
Coloring books
Construction paper
Beads, stamps, other small craft/home-learning/Sunday school type supplies.
Children's books. Books quickly weigh a box down, but you can usually toss in a couple without it being too bad. We were only able to take a few of our beloved books with us and we miss reading in English! Little kid type books (think Perfect the Pig, A Birthday for Bear...) or chapter books to read to them (think Charlotte's Web, A Cricket in Times Square...)
Play-doh. We make our own sometimes, but miss the neon colors too :)
Empty spray bottles. You'd think you could find those here. Nope.
Duct/scotch/masking tape
Elmer's and tacky glue and glue sticks
Spray n'Wash, RLR or Sportsman's Wash for laundry
First aid type items, band-aids, medical tape, tiny scissors... Stuff like that
Prenatal vitamins (if your missionary is a pregnant or nursing mother)vitamin C, vitamin D3, probiotics, other supplements that your missionary can specify, if needed.
If your missionary has pets it might be nice to send them flea/tick treatments as those aren't available (here anyway) and little chew toys/bones, catnip, worming medication, even a collar...
These were the things I sat down and thought of today. Any friends are welcome to comment with other ideas!
Prayer. Ok, prayer doesn't exactly come in a box, but a care package is a good reminder and encouragement as I said before, that there are people praying for and wanting to bless you. Bonus, prayer never gets lost in the mail!
Food items:
Reeses peanut butter cups. People, the Reeses situation over here is dire.
Spice mix packets. It is often difficult to find many spices -here, particularly Asian and Mexican food spices- and having those little spice packet mixes on hand is so, well, handy.
Sea salt and/or coarsely ground sea salt
Ranch dip mix packets and other dip mixes.
Hot chocolate/apple cider mixes
Instant oatmeal packets
Pop tarts
Fishy crackers, cheeze-its, party mix and the like. The kids miss those and there is nothing even close here(-in fact, I can't even get cheddar cheese here to try and make my own!)
Boxed macaroni and other boxed pasta/rice sides. We cook mostly from scratch and have been eating probably a lot healthier here, but sometimes ya just miss good ol' Kraft or Aunt Annie's Macaroni.
Cake mix, frosting, other cookie/brownie type mixes.
Chocolate chips for baking
Fruit snacks
Cream of wheat
Food coloring
Coconut oil
Garlic salt
Hot sauce (we don't particularly care for hot sauce, but you can't get it here, so find out if this is something your missionary friend wants!)
Candy canes, robin's eggs, candy corn, other seasonal candy at the appropriate times
Chai tea
Other:
Pictures of you, of your families. We miss your beautiful faces!
Notes letting us know what is going on in your lives and how we can pray for you.
Crayola crayons, colored pencils, chalk
Coloring books
Construction paper
Beads, stamps, other small craft/home-learning/Sunday school type supplies.
Children's books. Books quickly weigh a box down, but you can usually toss in a couple without it being too bad. We were only able to take a few of our beloved books with us and we miss reading in English! Little kid type books (think Perfect the Pig, A Birthday for Bear...) or chapter books to read to them (think Charlotte's Web, A Cricket in Times Square...)
Play-doh. We make our own sometimes, but miss the neon colors too :)
Empty spray bottles. You'd think you could find those here. Nope.
Duct/scotch/masking tape
Elmer's and tacky glue and glue sticks
Spray n'Wash, RLR or Sportsman's Wash for laundry
First aid type items, band-aids, medical tape, tiny scissors... Stuff like that
Prenatal vitamins (if your missionary is a pregnant or nursing mother)vitamin C, vitamin D3, probiotics, other supplements that your missionary can specify, if needed.
If your missionary has pets it might be nice to send them flea/tick treatments as those aren't available (here anyway) and little chew toys/bones, catnip, worming medication, even a collar...
These were the things I sat down and thought of today. Any friends are welcome to comment with other ideas!
Love
Happy New Years everyone! We hope that you are having a wonderful start to 2013 and that your Holiday season was very blessed.
I will admit that the start of the season saw me feeling rather discouraged. I was so very very homesick, struggling with jealousy of those who were "home" in the states and terribly missing my family and friends there. God is gracious and he cares. He held me and brought me through it and I am happy to say that we had a lovely Christmas here and we have so much to be thankful for with the start of this new year. I am grateful that his mercies are not new every year, but daily. Praise God!
But I'd like to talk about something else today.
You know, about a year ago, maybe a little more, I was reading through 1 Corinthians 13. I had begun reading it through every day, hoping that by doing so I would understand better how to incorporate the attributes found there into my own life. I had really been struggling. I was teaching my children love and gentleness, patience and kindness, but not following through myself. These were areas that I desperately needed to work on and I knew it. Our household verse was "Let your gentleness be evident to all" Yet I felt that my gentleness was evident to no one.
Around this time I read somewhere about a man who committed to reading through 1 Cor. 13 every day for a month and it "changed his life."
Perfect! I thought, a clear cut, easy recipe for how I can fix this in myself. And so I began.
But it seemed to me that the harder I tried to live with gentleness, patience and all that is wrapped up in that beautiful little word LOVE, the worse I became at it -the snappier, more irritable and impatient I grew. Oh I was so disheartened.
Life became busy with moving and all the big changes that came last summer, though always in the back of my mind I was giving a concerted -and often failing- effort to be more loving, more gentle.
Fast forward to a week or so ago at our newly begun women's Bible Study meeting. A small group of very special young women in our Church have committed to getting together once a week to study the Word together. It is a beautiful thing and has blessed and encouraged me in numerous ways already. On this day we were discussing the Love of God and taking about such verses as John 3:16. One girl read 1 Corinthians 13 out loud and another pointed out that this section was more about believers loving each other, not specifically about God's love.
Then it struck me.
"But-but it is about God's love!" I thought excitedly. It was like an epiphany. At that moment in my heart God re-taught me something that I had heard many times over the years about God's love lived out in us. For not only is living out our lives and loving others with the kind of love described in 1 Cor. 13 very difficult, it is, in fact, impossible. Utterly and completely impossible -apart from Christ. Only when we have God's love in our hearts -and are allowing Him to work, instead of trying to take care of things ourselves (something I DO need to re-learn just about daily)- only then can we love our families, or friends, our sisters and brothers in Christ, and anyone else we meet with the agape love described in Scripture.
I felt at that moment as though a weight had been lifted and a veil removed from my eyes -a veil I had likely put in place myself by trying to figure things out on my own, instead of relying solely on Him and being sensitive to His guidance. I feel a deep peace now, I remember that only through Him can I treat others with true grace and love.
There will still be -will always be- struggles, as long as I am in this world, but I know that I can persevere through Him. And that is the beautiful hope for all of us. A hope which has already been fulfilled in His eternal Love.
I will admit that the start of the season saw me feeling rather discouraged. I was so very very homesick, struggling with jealousy of those who were "home" in the states and terribly missing my family and friends there. God is gracious and he cares. He held me and brought me through it and I am happy to say that we had a lovely Christmas here and we have so much to be thankful for with the start of this new year. I am grateful that his mercies are not new every year, but daily. Praise God!
But I'd like to talk about something else today.
You know, about a year ago, maybe a little more, I was reading through 1 Corinthians 13. I had begun reading it through every day, hoping that by doing so I would understand better how to incorporate the attributes found there into my own life. I had really been struggling. I was teaching my children love and gentleness, patience and kindness, but not following through myself. These were areas that I desperately needed to work on and I knew it. Our household verse was "Let your gentleness be evident to all" Yet I felt that my gentleness was evident to no one.
Around this time I read somewhere about a man who committed to reading through 1 Cor. 13 every day for a month and it "changed his life."
Perfect! I thought, a clear cut, easy recipe for how I can fix this in myself. And so I began.
But it seemed to me that the harder I tried to live with gentleness, patience and all that is wrapped up in that beautiful little word LOVE, the worse I became at it -the snappier, more irritable and impatient I grew. Oh I was so disheartened.
Life became busy with moving and all the big changes that came last summer, though always in the back of my mind I was giving a concerted -and often failing- effort to be more loving, more gentle.
Fast forward to a week or so ago at our newly begun women's Bible Study meeting. A small group of very special young women in our Church have committed to getting together once a week to study the Word together. It is a beautiful thing and has blessed and encouraged me in numerous ways already. On this day we were discussing the Love of God and taking about such verses as John 3:16. One girl read 1 Corinthians 13 out loud and another pointed out that this section was more about believers loving each other, not specifically about God's love.
Then it struck me.
"But-but it is about God's love!" I thought excitedly. It was like an epiphany. At that moment in my heart God re-taught me something that I had heard many times over the years about God's love lived out in us. For not only is living out our lives and loving others with the kind of love described in 1 Cor. 13 very difficult, it is, in fact, impossible. Utterly and completely impossible -apart from Christ. Only when we have God's love in our hearts -and are allowing Him to work, instead of trying to take care of things ourselves (something I DO need to re-learn just about daily)- only then can we love our families, or friends, our sisters and brothers in Christ, and anyone else we meet with the agape love described in Scripture.
I felt at that moment as though a weight had been lifted and a veil removed from my eyes -a veil I had likely put in place myself by trying to figure things out on my own, instead of relying solely on Him and being sensitive to His guidance. I feel a deep peace now, I remember that only through Him can I treat others with true grace and love.
There will still be -will always be- struggles, as long as I am in this world, but I know that I can persevere through Him. And that is the beautiful hope for all of us. A hope which has already been fulfilled in His eternal Love.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)