Saturday, June 23, 2012

Here

The lights reflected from the street below swirl slowly across the ceiling like a great kaleidoscope.
Far away a dog barks and another answers it from almost directly under my window.
At three in the morning it is dark and relatively quiet, though the dogs who run wild in the streets can get loud and occasionally a car or truck rumbles past and I believe some of them lack mufflers.
The air is fresh each morning and smells somewhat exotic, like fields and trees that I do not know all the names of.




It is cool, but as the sun climbs the air becomes thick and warm. The scents of the country are quickly replaced with a heady mixture of smells that at times can be ignored and at times can overwhelm -eau de diesel fuel-garbage-cigarette smoke-frying meat-sewer water-dirty dog.




During the day things are lively on this busy corner of town. People shopping and walking, calling to each other, cars zooming by, kids laughing, horns honking, jackdaws chattering in the trees where they congregate in great flocks. And don't forget the roosters! There is a great deal of construction going on and there is the noise from that too and when the power is off there is the low grumble of generators behind every shop. At noon and five pm the call to prayer rings out from the mosque across the street, it's spire rising high above the trees and stony houses.





Despite all the recent growth and modern construction in the cities and despite the fact that trash often litters the streets and rivers, there is an ancient beauty about this place. The rocky walls and cobbled courtyards. The traditional garb of the older generations.




The jagged mountain peaks that tower in the hazy blue distance which make one feel that they just might be in Middle-earth and that possibly orcs really do exist.
These tall peaks border the country on all sides, like the rims of a great bowl, the inside of which contains rolling green hills, shrubby forests, and beautifully lush valleys. Red-roofed villages are tucked and folded into every nook and cranny, patch-work fields spread about each one. Red, yellow, white, purple, and blue wildflowers polka-dot the fields and brighten the roadside. Butterflies flutter and bees hum. Pigeons swoop over the town and ring-necked doves call from their perches on lamp-posts and balconies.



It has often seemed to me that Kosovo is a land of contrasts -perhaps all places are like that and I notice it more outside of my own culture? To me it seems Kosovo is quaint, yet bustling. Quiet, but loud. Dark, yet light. Harsh in ways, comforting in others. It is a land steeped in tradition, yet awash with the changes that westernization brings. A perfect example: You will see young boys herding their family's cattle in the hills, using sticks to prod them along and you will think, "This looks like a snapshot from a hundred years ago!" -Then one of the boys will pull out an iPod or a fancy cell phone and start clicking away on it.


(Goats stopping to drink from an ancient spring as they are herded back home for the day)


The people here are generous and hospitable nearly to a fault. The average Kosovar does not mince words though -they say what they mean and they mean what they say! Conversations to me often seem loud or boisterous, and if you did not know some of the language you might think that people here argue a lot. But this is just normal interaction and is (mostly) in good humor. They are a friendly people. Where else in the world would women that you just met (as happened to us this morning as we shopped for carpets) kiss your children and tell them how beautiful they are? Where else will near strangers usher you in and practically force feed you cookies and tea?


Aaaahhhh, munch munch, yep, it's good to be back in Kosovo!

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Almost there....

Well, sort of.

We haven't actually left yet. But it's weird to think that in four days we will be in Kosovo. Totally surreal. And awesome!

Just thought I'd share a couple pictures of the girls I snapped as we finished up packing-






Playing pat-a-cake together in a "suitcase house." Hehe

Monday, June 11, 2012

Packing and Beauty out of Chaos

I am so over packing.
It is No. Fun.

Capitol NO.
Capitol FUN.

I suspect it's also really really good for me. (Sigh, isn't that always the way?)

I always joke that I am a minimalist trapped inside of a hoarder's body.
Well, guess what?
Packing your entire life into 8 suitcases really takes care of that problem.

I also suspect that packing, even for the most organized person and -this will blow you away- I am not the most organized person,

-I know. I was shocked too. We missed the prize on that one by juuuust a hair-

Anyhow, even for that person, that sad being (his life must be so dull. I pity him. Really.) it must still be somewhat chaotic.

Chaos, though, is one of those things that God really likes to USE. And man oh man does he do some cool stuff with it. Consider the account of creation found in Genesis one. The first verses say, "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning —the first day." (Genesis 1:1-5)
The story continues, but we'll pause here. Notice what God does? Out of formlessness (vs. 2, literally chaos, in the original language "to hu" and according to the Holman Bible Dictionary at studylight.org- "In Hebrew thought... the most prominent concept of "chaos" is that of the primeval disorder that preceded God's creative activity...God demonstrated His power in creation graphically in the crushing defeat of chaos." !!!) He creates. He makes beautiful. And He implements order. Beautiful, ordered creation out of empty, dark, chaos! And it. Is. Good.

Packing for me has surprisingly been far more emotionally chaotic than simply disorderly. I've actually buckled down and gotten quite a bit done and that is great.

But

it is still really hard and takes a real toll on my nerves. I have to close my eyes and breath quite often and just remind myself to (inhale) "Let stuff go... Let stuff go... We don't need 500 frilly dresses. Really. We don't need every knick-knack I've collected from countless yard sales since I was 8. It will be so nice to not have to worry about so much junk. " (exhale)

Even so, if I may be real here, what I really want to do is throw myself onto my bed and burst into tears. (Ok, you caught me, I actually already did that today. Twice.)

It's just all of the emotional stuff on top of all the action-taking that goes into getting prepared to leave. I hope that doesn't sound shallow, the part about dresses and knick-knacks was for a bit of humor (although true nonetheless...) It's about so so so much more than that, watching the life you've built for 6 years come down piece by piece, knowing you're going on to new things you will love -but that in doing so you are leaving behind much that is so dear.. I don't know, it's all just hard. Thank goodness God is in control and following Him is truly a joy, His blessings are astounding!

So now, I am going to try to do what I really need to do, (although passionate emotional outbursts are actually quite helpful) which is to surrender my chaoic, threatning-to-send-me-over-the-edge-with-the-sheer-emotional-and-physical-difficulty-of-it packing stress mess (that's my short name for it, it has quite a ring, right?) over to Him and I have full confidence and assurance that He is going to bring something SO beautiful out of it! Maybe a new work in my heart, maybe a new discipline of my mind, maybe the tiny miracle of just getting it all done, well and in time, tying up all the last loose ends before we head out to continue in the work He has for us. And whatever is brought out of this is going to be good. God is awesome like that.

We all have some chaos in our life. The question is, are we willing to let God take control and form it into something beautiful? Are we willing to hand over our sloppy formless lump of clay -whether that symbolizes our heart, our relationship with a loved one, or just our messy house- to the great Potter and let Him create something grand? I don't think He will disappoint!

Saturday, June 02, 2012

Our Daily Bread

Silly me. For months and months I could think of nothing to write and now, in the most full and busy season of our life, my brain is overflowing with stuff I want to share with you. I suppose that's because so much is going on.

The topic today, though, is not about how

capitol "K"

Ka-razy

things are getting as we head into the Two Weeks Before We Leave time period. Instead it is about something new that God lead me to, and the immediate fruit I have seen by following His lead. It really seems like such a small thing.

But it's been really really huge.

You see, a few weeks ago I was teaching the girls the Lord's prayer and helping them to memorize it. While focusing on the line "give us this day our daily bread," it occurred to me that I have not been faithful in praying this, in a heartfelt manner, to God. Oh sure, I have my prayer times and Bible reading times each day, but something I seem to have been forgetting is simply asking -and thanking Him for- my daily bread.

It's not like things have been so bad. It's just that, well, I've been stressed. I've been snappy with the kids, easily tired, easily frustrated... The list goes on and you know how it is because you've been there too.

Plus lately with our departure coming up SO fast, there is this slight panic at the back of my throat, constantly threatning to leap out and gobble me up.

So. This revolutionary idea came to me. I decided that every morning I would kneel before God and ask for my daily portion -and thank Him for it before hand because I know that He is faithful. And you know what? It works! It really and truly works people! My goodness! I kneel there at the back slider, still in my PJs, yesterday's mascara smeared under my eye lids, the bright morning sun spilling over my face (and occasionally a one year-old using my lap as a trampoline or a three year old using my ear as what I can only assume she thinks is a megaphone) and I pray and God listens and He actually gives me my daily bread!

I'm not saying it's like some magic button you push at the arcade and bing bing bing! win a prize.
And I'm also not saying that I suddenly handle everything with perfection.
I am, however saying that when a heartfelt child comes before the Lord with a request, trusting in His Word, His Promises, His Power...

Listen. God is faithful, he is a loving Father who wants to give us good things. Who does give us good things.

And when we ask, He gives us more.

More of Himself, more compassion, more patience, more gentleness, more Love. He gives us the grace to handle the things that come our way. If we will only ask, only trust. "Ask and it shall be given to you." (Matthew 7:7)

Guys, he wants this for us. It brings Him glory. His power is displayed in our lives for others to see and it is "made perfect in our weakness."

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (2 Corinthians 12:9)

It also goes back to that awesome verse in Jeremiah 29 that I was talking about in my last post: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

It's amazing the fruit I have seen from this seemingly small act. I suddenly have peace, the grace to go about the day, treating my family as I would want to be treated, taking care of what needs to be done, and this immediately deeper connection with my Creator as well.

And again, I'm not saying I magically have become Perfect At All Things.

There are still Moments.

But I feel the Lord's hand in my life throughout my day, equiping me more when I purposefully surrender to Him by asking HIM for my daily bread instead of trying to, well, bake it myself. -Something I think I'd been trying to do a lot lately. I'm so glad God is patient with me, that he gently guides me back to where I need to be -focused more and more on Him.

I encourage you to try this too, see what new fruits God will bring about in your life when you ask and trust Him for your daily portion. I'll vouch that it is so worth it!