What Mihri Taught Me

Mihri lifts her shirt revealing a track of wide scars that criss-cross over and around her entire torso. It is the first time I have met her, but she is eager to tell her story to a sympathetic ear. She is a wife and a mother of two. She brought her kids to the children's meeting that morning for the first time and is now sitting with me at the women's Bible study. After years of health problems, she tells me, she had major surgery and as a result cannot tolerate gluten and needs a special diet. After her surgery she came back home to her husband and his family, but suffered extensive abuse at the hands of her brother in law and her family was forced to move because of it.

Abuse of this kind is not uncommon here, in fact recently a woman was stabbed in the next village over by an angry brother in law seeking revenge.

Mihri escaped such a fate, however. Her family came to Malisheve to start anew, but then her husband was struck by a car while crossing the street. He survived, but hasn't been the same since. He cannot work, so Mihri is searching for a job for herself. In the mean time her family is living in a tiny apartment at the edge of town and buys groceries with the small pension they receive.

"How can I buy food for four people with only 30 Euros a month?!" she nearly cries to me, "My kids live off of bread and tea... I need gluten-free flour, but it is very expensive, you can't even find it here in town, so I eat corn and rice..." We pray together and I think it means a lot to her to have someone listen who cares.

Another day when we go to visit Mihri, this time in her home, she insists on letting my little daughter have the one pretty thing in her house, a pair of knitted potholders that she made herself. There are only so many times I can refuse without being rude, so I finally accept, inwardly shamed by her humble generosity in the face of poverty (what mountains of silly things do I hoard with fierce jealousy?) Maybe a shoulder to cry on meant more to her than I can know.

I am also encouraged by her attitude and actions, and think vaguely of the stories of the widow's mite and the rich young ruler. Counting the cost has been a recurring topic lately in our family discussions as well as the wider discussions of the Church group. What are we willing to give up, more importantly what are we called to give up? What does this mean at its core? In what ways does it practically apply to our lives? All questions we have been mulling and studying over. But the next time I feel myself clinging to some worldly trinket, I hope I'll remember Jesus words to a foolish young man -a man uncomfortably similar to all of us- and think of Mihri pushing her potholders into my daughter's hands as her children dip bread in their tea.

Autumn

We are now officially into fall and it may interest you to know that this is the first Autumn in our entire 8 1/2 year marriage that I have not been pregnant or had an infant in my arms. Well, hey, it's significant to me. What I do have is 4 incredibly spunky, silly, hilarious kiddos running circles around me, and I am very content with that at the moment. (Though, not gonna lie, I was looking through some of the girls' baby pics today and it definitely made me feel a bit nostalgic. Like, maybe I'd love to have another baby sometime, nostalgic, haha :) )

Anyway, September has been beautiful for us so far, lots of those long golden days I love. However there was so much rain this summer that many of the crops which should be being harvested now did not do well. Among those are grapes, plums, tomatoes, and potatoes. On the other hand it was a good year for corn and peppers, in fact today I got to sample some corn on the cob fresh from the fields, although here the majority of the corn harvest is reserved for livestock. We spent part of our day in the village today and the girls got to help gather walnuts that their uncles beat out of the trees with long sticks. Then they played in the leaf piles while Gjagji Rifat swept the yard (ever tried sweeping a yard free of leaves on a blustery day? It's totally fun and great exercise. I know because I helped like a little tiny bit.) And helped their Gjysha make pite for dinner.

We have actually spent the last couple days out in the village helping with and enjoying the wedding festivities of one of Hasan's neighbors, the older brother of one of my dear friends. It was such a joy to participate in and it is always fun and interesting to witness the particular traditions surrounding marriage in this culture.

In Albanian culture there are two kinds of wedding celebrations, both lasting over several days. There's the Kanagjegj -the festivities of the family giving away their daughter as a bride, a relatively sad affair as they are essentially "losing" a daughter- and the Darsma -the joyful event of receiving a bride into the family.

Beautiful Aferdite in her traditional bridal outfit, in the center. I'm looking forward to getting to know her better.

The third day of the darsma celebration is Dita Grave, meaning "women's day," when all the women of the village gather to pay their respects to the bride.

The women sing traditional songs to welcome her.

The bride is led out of the house for all to admire, as sugar is scattered on the ground before her so that her life may be sweet and later she participates in a traditional dance.

The bride is not supposed to smile, but to keep a very straight face. (That's my adorable friend Ymrije on the bride's right, there, who was also recently married :) ) Also, in a Kosovo wedding other younger women are to dress in their bridal cloths or fancy dresses as well for this celebration, so different from our own western traditions!

Another highlight of the month was getting to bring one of the young women in our Church to the Udheqryq Bible School in Erseka, Albania.

Sweet Drenusha and Adelina pose during a rest stop at a mall in Tirana

Lake Ohrid 

Finally, we're here! The Bible School's looking pretty spiffy these days :)

It's about an 8 hour trip down, but the scenery is amazing even if the roads are difficult -and it is well worth the switchbacks and pot holes to get to visit with our Erseka family there. A day and a half was faaar too short a time to spend with them, though we were blessed nonetheless. The group of students this year is diverse and dynamic and we pray that they will have a great year growing in the knowledge and grace of the Lord.

Bekime! (Blessings!)

Goings On

Our family took a mini vay-cay to a nearby beach this week in honor of our homeschool starting up again, as well as things ramping up a little here with the ministry.  You know how sometimes a vacation can turn out to be kind of the opposite of relaxing? Yeah, although we did have fun we were glad to be home again after a day and a half of bumpy roads, loo-oong border crossings, too much sun and way too many crowds! The kids came away thinking it was a great time, so I guess that was a win...? I came away thinking "Nice house, nice house! I promise I'll never leave you again!" Lol.

Lo-ong border waits!

Little ham!

                                                             

Well, at least she found it relaxing! :)

                                                   

It's funny but every time I think "Aaah, now we're heading into a calmer season," things always tend to get busier. Which is great really, God is good! We are starting up a new children's program on Saturday mornings and we're excited about that. It will be headed by one of the young women in the Church who has a great passion for children and has been desiring to help out in any way she can. This same girl also translates for me during the Girl's Bible Study. Despite the many obstacles and the oppression she and her family have faced and continue to face she has a true servant's heart and I thank God for her, she is one of my best friends. Other members of our Church group are eager to help with this as well and we would love prayer over this time, for the children who come, for their families who will also be positively touched by this, as well as for the group leading it. Another prayer request concerning the children's ministry is supplies. We don't have much to work with at the moment, so if you feel moved to donate particularly towards the children's ministry it would be greatly appreciated and well used. If you were thinking of sending something specific, the group's immediate needs are craft supplies, markers, crayons, water color paper, etc. simple Bible teaching materials, that sort of thing. Also group games, Twister for example, or others.

Waiting for the kids to arrive!

                                                         

A game of "Simoni thot" (Simon says!)

                                               

Prayers appreciated as we head into our next season of homeschooling. Adelina will officially be in second grade, Teuta in Kindergarten, Albulena will be into a bit of light pre-schooly stuff, and Violeta into, well, everything -the cupboards, the toilet, all of her sisters' most special Untouchable things... Haha. We'll be using a more formal curriculum this year, but still with a lot of eclectic stuff thrown in to make it interesting. Prayers for me and my Patience *and my sanity :) for organization, prayers that the girls will respond well to it all, prayers that I'll remember that they don't have to Learn All The Things in the world in this one short year, lol, since I tend to get over-zealous and then easily discouraged (not a productive combo.)

The Girl's Bible Study is going very well, I am really enjoying our weekly discussions. The girls who have been coming have really opened up and seem eager to dig in. This week we'll be talking more about honoring God with our lives and comparing Romans 12 with several passages in 1 Peter as a spin off from last week's talk on ways that our lives bring glory to God. Next week we'll be discussing Discernment.

Another thing I wanted to mention is that one of the young men in our church felt led to begin a young boy's Bible Study in the village. One evening a week he gathers all the boys in the field for a soccer game and then has a time of teaching. The last time we were out in the village (Krevasarie, Hasan's home village) I saw a TON of kids heading down there for that, praise the Lord! Prayers as this continues and grows!

We were recently able to purchase a van for Church use and wanted to give another huge THANK YOU! To our friends at RBC who funded that! I have tears in my eyes just thinking of their love and generosity, we were and continue to be SO blessed.

In Him~ Jacquelyn

An Owl And A Prayer

In local superstition, the hooting of an owl on a roof signals impending calamity.

Lord I pray 
That "the world is hurting my heart tonight."
Would become
"My heart is hurting for the world today."

They're immensely different,
Don't you see?
Switching to empathy for others
From pity for me.

An owl is hooting far away,
A plane was shot out of the sky they say,
Homes being swallowed in fiery rage,
Children being trafficked,
I could fill up this page!

You can't even take
A quick glance around
Without seeing that
Atrocities abound.

Harassment, violence,
Suffering in spades,
And for hundreds this moment
the light of life fades.

O Lord, may your kingdom come!
And end the evil being done.
So many who don't even know you...
O what can my feeble light do?
Lord, though mine is small,
Let it shine bright and true,
Reflecting your glory,
For to you it is due.
All who are hurting
-And that is no few-
All who need rest,
Lord guide them to you.

On a rooftop somewhere,
Far away,
An owl hoots,
Signaling end of day.
Night falls softly,
With no other sound.
We thank God that his mercy
And love abound.

August Musings

Summer is flying by on wings that flash one day with sunlight, another with lightning. As much as I love the sunshine, hours at the pool side, picking plums in the lanes, the beautiful Summer storms, and the freedom Summer seems to bring, I am happy that fall will be upon us soon with cooler weather and long, golden days.

We've been here over two years now and I look back over that time with... What? Examining, I feel joy mingled with sadness, heartbreak and elation, I once said Kosovo is a land of contrasts, and it seems the missionary life is that as well.
Overall though a sense of accomplishment, of steadfastness.
And what more could one ask?
The two years have not been easy, and though no one said they would be, I expected different hardships than the ones which came to us. I joked with Hasan once that it felt we were being baptized by fire, and so it has been.
My hope and prayer is that whatever we go through we will come through purified, refined, and I continue to hope to this end. We don't always react as we should, we have flaws. Missionaries certainly are not perfect, we struggle and flounder like anyone else. We can only give our broken lives and trust that our perfect God will turn them into something beautiful, something that brings Him glory. We have all seen this in our lives and we know that our hope is an eternal one, sure, a hope that has already been fulfilled in the promises given to us.
So we press onward. We look forward to the things this next year will bring, knowing that they may be hard or good or both, but that they will certainly grow and better us.

Blessings to you all~

What challenges have you faced lately? How have you seen God at work through those?

Women's Ministry

Well, the women's Bible study has been meeting now for two weeks and it is going very well. We are looking at worship in its different forms and how we glorify God daily. It has been an interesting and fruitful study so far and the girls are responding with enthusiasm. This week we will be looking at meditation, what this word means Biblically and how the Biblical idea of meditation differs from the common worldly understanding of it, as well as how it honors God, how it benefits us spiritually, and how to build time for Biblical meditation into our daily lives.
We would love prayer over this study, which meets at 7 pm on Saturday evenings, as well as the girls who are coming.

The women here are far more beautiful and precious to God than these lovely poppies which are in full bloom now all over the country side.

I hardly know what to call this group, since in Kosovo women are called "girls" unless they are married and we have a variety of ages coming. Girl's Meeting? Women's Bible Study? Or some other name? I don't really know yet, but perhaps the ladies and I will come up with a better idea of what to call our study.
During our time visiting the States earlier this Spring I shared with many of you my heart for the women in the villages who do not come often into town. Some of which know little or nothing of Christianity and many of whom have never heard the Gospel.

Hasan's Grandmother, who knew little of Christianity before her grandsons became saved, asked us recently, "What must I do to be saved?"

Just since our return to Kosovo a few weeks ago I have already had surprise and unexpected visits with several ladies in villages nearby and am praising God for the way He opens doors. I am very excited about these new relationships and look forward to getting to know these women better, would you pray with me that God would strengthen these relationships?

I got to visit with the very family who reside behind this door, a beautiful family who I look forward to seeing again. Pray that God would continue to open doors!

Another area in which I need prayer is my ability as a hostess. Hospitality is very important here, indeed I would say that it is a central part of this culture. I am a terrible hostess, awkward at best. My house is messy, my kids are noisy and frankly I never know the right thing to do or say. We often have the young women from the church over for visits and although I'm sure they don't mind, (or are at least used to us) I always feel that I am hopelessly floundering as a hostess, it has always been a difficult area for me. I would love prayer over this, that I could do better, but also rest in assurance that God knew what he was doing placing me here and that despite my personal challenges, his love and light will shine through.
Thank you all!
God bless,
Jacquelyn

Grappling -Relationships and Solitude

“Oh MOM!” My seven year old flings her self onto me. Her sisters are driving her crazy at the moment. I am trying to help, but in a small space with six of us, some days everyone just rubs each other wrong. Being a rather (read: super) sensitive perfectionist, this girl of mine feels it more acutely than the rest of us. Sensitivity and perfectionism are not bad traits by any means, she’s simply still learning how to BE in this so less than perfect world, as we all are, with so less than perfect people surrounding our SO less than perfect Selves.
“I –I just wish I could live ALL BY MY SELF! With no one bothering me, no one talking to me, la la la, all day long!” She sighs, leaning limp on my arm, at a loss for words. Not that I buy that she’d be able to stand that for more than an hour –she is way too relational, but oh Honey, I do understand.

Can I tell you my dream? In my perfect world, there would be no one. I’d live in a Thoreau-esque solitude away among nature. A cabin or cottage among the trees, perhaps on the wild –and solitary- coast of Oregon somewhere or the misty mountains of Peru… I’ve always wanted to travel to Peru, it seems so… Quiet. A library of books and paints, pencils and paper and I’d be set for life. Just me and no one but God. Aaaand maybe a few cats.

I sometimes feel like Lucy in the Chronicles of Narnia. In book two she is summoned from sleep one night to meet Aslan in the meadow where they talk and relax. She curls up contentedly, wanting to stay there with him. But to her dismay she is sent back all too soon, back to the others. Back to deal with people. People and their problems and their complaining and their disbelief. And it’s hard and seems unpleasant, especially compared to perfectly contented solitude with The Perfect One.

I know.

The thing about this life though and our purpose here is that it is very much about relationships. Relationships which are messy and sometimes annoying.

Of course, there is a definite and extremely important place for solitude in our lives. It is refreshing and reviving and can give us back a proper perspective, as it did for Lucy in the story. It is particularly important in our fast-paced world today! In fact Jesus modeled it for us when he prayed in solitude and would seek solitude at other times as well. Times of silence, prayer, quiet meditation on the Word, etc. are very necessary for healthy spiritual lives (and for some of us very introverted folk, to other aspects of our lives as well.) However, it can sometimes seem an unfortunate thing that we can’t just stay there forever. It’s always back to the people. Helping and serving and caring and dealing. If we are being honest, it IS hard. It IS demanding. Yet… It is not a burden, not when it is the will and request of our beloved Lion, when it is really service to Him, who we adore. Not when we look at others with His eyes and in turn see Him in them. This is true service, true love, and it is truly a blessing. In fact it becomes a JOY.

And one day… Well, one day we’ll all be there together, worshiping him as he truly deserves in perfect relationship. No more sin to muddle things up or to sour our perceptions. We will be singing the beautiful song and he will be telling us the beautiful story for eons, all together in perfect fellowship and at the same time perfect solitude with Him.

I want everyone to experience this joy and really, I can’t wait until we are all there together.

How about you? Are you an extrovert or an introvert? Do you thrive off of being around people, and if so, is solitude the harder thing for you? Or do you thrive off of quiet alone time and have a difficult time relating to others? What are some ways you cope? Love to hear from you!

I Lift My Eyes Up

Look at that veiw.

Beautiful, isn't it? Majestic, wild, a little un-earthly. Green feilds lead up to hazy, purple and white mountains. Beautiful mountains. It is the veiw from my living room window.

When I cast my eye far, that is.

If I look straight down, though?

This.

Garbage... Mud... Weeds and ruins. A dump, nasty (and smelly!) A tangled, filthy mess. It is not an uncommon sight here.

Sometimes we fly along on wings of gold, through fragrant meadows. Everything's going right and we bask all that is good.

Other times we come to a landfill and the only way around it is through it. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow...
We can look directly down around us and quickly become disheartened, weighted down, thrashing. Caught in the bog.

Or we can cast our eyes high, to the rock, where there is strength, renewal, help. And we will wade through, He will lead us through, the ground becoming firm once more.

Psalm 121
A song of ascents

"I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore."