Grappling -Relationships and Solitude

“Oh MOM!” My seven year old flings her self onto me. Her sisters are driving her crazy at the moment. I am trying to help, but in a small space with six of us, some days everyone just rubs each other wrong. Being a rather (read: super) sensitive perfectionist, this girl of mine feels it more acutely than the rest of us. Sensitivity and perfectionism are not bad traits by any means, she’s simply still learning how to BE in this so less than perfect world, as we all are, with so less than perfect people surrounding our SO less than perfect Selves.
“I –I just wish I could live ALL BY MY SELF! With no one bothering me, no one talking to me, la la la, all day long!” She sighs, leaning limp on my arm, at a loss for words. Not that I buy that she’d be able to stand that for more than an hour –she is way too relational, but oh Honey, I do understand.

Can I tell you my dream? In my perfect world, there would be no one. I’d live in a Thoreau-esque solitude away among nature. A cabin or cottage among the trees, perhaps on the wild –and solitary- coast of Oregon somewhere or the misty mountains of Peru… I’ve always wanted to travel to Peru, it seems so… Quiet. A library of books and paints, pencils and paper and I’d be set for life. Just me and no one but God. Aaaand maybe a few cats.

I sometimes feel like Lucy in the Chronicles of Narnia. In book two she is summoned from sleep one night to meet Aslan in the meadow where they talk and relax. She curls up contentedly, wanting to stay there with him. But to her dismay she is sent back all too soon, back to the others. Back to deal with people. People and their problems and their complaining and their disbelief. And it’s hard and seems unpleasant, especially compared to perfectly contented solitude with The Perfect One.

I know.

The thing about this life though and our purpose here is that it is very much about relationships. Relationships which are messy and sometimes annoying.

Of course, there is a definite and extremely important place for solitude in our lives. It is refreshing and reviving and can give us back a proper perspective, as it did for Lucy in the story. It is particularly important in our fast-paced world today! In fact Jesus modeled it for us when he prayed in solitude and would seek solitude at other times as well. Times of silence, prayer, quiet meditation on the Word, etc. are very necessary for healthy spiritual lives (and for some of us very introverted folk, to other aspects of our lives as well.) However, it can sometimes seem an unfortunate thing that we can’t just stay there forever. It’s always back to the people. Helping and serving and caring and dealing. If we are being honest, it IS hard. It IS demanding. Yet… It is not a burden, not when it is the will and request of our beloved Lion, when it is really service to Him, who we adore. Not when we look at others with His eyes and in turn see Him in them. This is true service, true love, and it is truly a blessing. In fact it becomes a JOY.

And one day… Well, one day we’ll all be there together, worshiping him as he truly deserves in perfect relationship. No more sin to muddle things up or to sour our perceptions. We will be singing the beautiful song and he will be telling us the beautiful story for eons, all together in perfect fellowship and at the same time perfect solitude with Him.

I want everyone to experience this joy and really, I can’t wait until we are all there together.

How about you? Are you an extrovert or an introvert? Do you thrive off of being around people, and if so, is solitude the harder thing for you? Or do you thrive off of quiet alone time and have a difficult time relating to others? What are some ways you cope? Love to hear from you!