Packing and Beauty out of Chaos

I am so over packing.
It is No. Fun.

Capitol NO.
Capitol FUN.

I suspect it's also really really good for me. (Sigh, isn't that always the way?)

I always joke that I am a minimalist trapped inside of a hoarder's body.
Well, guess what?
Packing your entire life into 8 suitcases really takes care of that problem.

I also suspect that packing, even for the most organized person and -this will blow you away- I am not the most organized person,

-I know. I was shocked too. We missed the prize on that one by juuuust a hair-

Anyhow, even for that person, that sad being (his life must be so dull. I pity him. Really.) it must still be somewhat chaotic.

Chaos, though, is one of those things that God really likes to USE. And man oh man does he do some cool stuff with it. Consider the account of creation found in Genesis one. The first verses say, "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning —the first day." (Genesis 1:1-5)
The story continues, but we'll pause here. Notice what God does? Out of formlessness (vs. 2, literally chaos, in the original language "to hu" and according to the Holman Bible Dictionary at studylight.org- "In Hebrew thought... the most prominent concept of "chaos" is that of the primeval disorder that preceded God's creative activity...God demonstrated His power in creation graphically in the crushing defeat of chaos." !!!) He creates. He makes beautiful. And He implements order. Beautiful, ordered creation out of empty, dark, chaos! And it. Is. Good.

Packing for me has surprisingly been far more emotionally chaotic than simply disorderly. I've actually buckled down and gotten quite a bit done and that is great.

But

it is still really hard and takes a real toll on my nerves. I have to close my eyes and breath quite often and just remind myself to (inhale) "Let stuff go... Let stuff go... We don't need 500 frilly dresses. Really. We don't need every knick-knack I've collected from countless yard sales since I was 8. It will be so nice to not have to worry about so much junk. " (exhale)

Even so, if I may be real here, what I really want to do is throw myself onto my bed and burst into tears. (Ok, you caught me, I actually already did that today. Twice.)

It's just all of the emotional stuff on top of all the action-taking that goes into getting prepared to leave. I hope that doesn't sound shallow, the part about dresses and knick-knacks was for a bit of humor (although true nonetheless...) It's about so so so much more than that, watching the life you've built for 6 years come down piece by piece, knowing you're going on to new things you will love -but that in doing so you are leaving behind much that is so dear.. I don't know, it's all just hard. Thank goodness God is in control and following Him is truly a joy, His blessings are astounding!

So now, I am going to try to do what I really need to do, (although passionate emotional outbursts are actually quite helpful) which is to surrender my chaoic, threatning-to-send-me-over-the-edge-with-the-sheer-emotional-and-physical-difficulty-of-it packing stress mess (that's my short name for it, it has quite a ring, right?) over to Him and I have full confidence and assurance that He is going to bring something SO beautiful out of it! Maybe a new work in my heart, maybe a new discipline of my mind, maybe the tiny miracle of just getting it all done, well and in time, tying up all the last loose ends before we head out to continue in the work He has for us. And whatever is brought out of this is going to be good. God is awesome like that.

We all have some chaos in our life. The question is, are we willing to let God take control and form it into something beautiful? Are we willing to hand over our sloppy formless lump of clay -whether that symbolizes our heart, our relationship with a loved one, or just our messy house- to the great Potter and let Him create something grand? I don't think He will disappoint!